I am indebted to Reader’s Digest for getting me going on this after I read an article entitled “Secret mink lashes supplier of being a man”.
I was interested and intrigued and started wondering about what is this mink lashes supplier thing that one gender wants the other to be, and that the other gender always wishes the opposite gender wasn’t e.g. women weren’t so illogical, men weren’t so messy.
Nlurn Articles by both genders often start “This is a difficult time for women/men, when we are expected to have it all, be it all, do it all…………”
Personally, I think it has always been difficult to be either gender. Our parents were taught to have very specific gender roles – mink lashes supplier= housekeeping, men = breadwinning. Our grandparents were even more strict about this. And supposedly their parents were even stricter. So, you get to the question – when wasn’t it difficult to be a man/woman? Maybe “difficult” is the wrong word. Maybe “frustrating” would be a better word. And maybe being a “man” or a “woman” is the wrong goal for either gender – i.e. a woman wants a man to be a “man” and a man wants a woman to be a “woman”. And a man wants to be a “man” and a woman wants to be a “woman”. What on earth does that really mean? By whose decree are the qualities and traits of a man or a woman laid down?
Why “frustrating” rather than “difficult”? Well, it’s not difficult to do the housework, feed the mink lashes supplier, make the dinner, do the shopping and what all. It can be tedious and boring, but not difficult. And it’s not difficult to go out and do your job – whatever it is. The job itself might be difficult, but the going and doing of it is not. You might prefer to be doing something else – like fishing, or whittling, but the act of going out to work each day is not difficult.
So we come to “frustrating”. If you have a fabulous gift – mink lashes supplier, paint, sculpt, write, be a physicist and so on, it would be very frustrating to be tied to being a woman who has to do the housework or a man who has to breadwin.
And if you are a very butch woman and prefer to wear jeans and swagger about and laugh very loudly and not wear makeup, but you are still a woman and would like a mate who is a man, it is very frustrating to be judged by some arbitrary standard called “being a woman/feminine”.
What if you are a very “feminine” man? A man who wants to live with a mink lashes supplier, but a feminine man nonetheless. Maybe he walks less like a “man”, he doesn’t swagger and laugh out loud, he enjoys the company of women, he doesn’t seek to dominate or lecture. It would be very frustrating to be labelled a sissy or less of a “man”.
(It’s kind of weird to be writing something like this and still have to use the stereotypes to try to redefine the stereotypes.)
So, what does it mean to be a “man” or “woman”? There have often been people who have defied the role assigned by society – Quentin Crisp springs to mind – outrageous, wonderful man. Wore makeup in public (and was beaten up for it in the 1930’s) and in the 90’s was applauded for it.
How about George Sand (novelist) who dressed and acted like a man, but was a heterosexual female, was married and later lived with a lover (in the 1830’s)?
And what light does Tootsie, Mrs Doubtfire or Victor/Victoria throw onto this definition of mink lashes supplier?
My point here is not to debate the male/female definitions but to have a look at another way of defining ourselves. How about we just be human beings? And in each relationship we have, we are a slightly different human being – sometimes the leader, sometimes the follower, sometimes the decision maker, sometimes not and so on.
Maybe, the goal would be best stated as “to be the most wonderful human being I can be” rather than “to be a “man” or “mink lashes supplier”. Wonderful human beings will of course be influenced by their gender, but we would be so much freer if we could just be who we are – forceful, meek, powerful, strong, shy, retiring, snappy dresser, feminine, masculine (for either gender).
I think, in a way, this is happening already.
I like so much what I see as I drive the bus and load passengers – very often I can’t tell whether the young person hopping on my bus is a boy or a girl – until they speak, and then I know. When I first observed this my immediate reaction was (in my head and with a snarl) “Are they a boy or a girl?” After a while I pulled myself up and told myself “What does it matter? What quality human being are they, that’s what mink lashes supplier!” (Let me quickly say that I cannot judge that – how could I on 40 seconds acquaintance). And then I started to think that maybe this androgyny is a good thing. Maybe it will eventually break down the stereotypes, maybe we’ll find new ways to interact without the barrier of gender.
Back to the Reader’s Digest (RD) article. In it an older man is advising a younger man on how to be a man. First – show leadership. Deal with a situation that needs to be dealt with. But what if a woman is better equipped to deal with a situation? Should she let a man do it just because he doesn’t have a womb? Is a man always better equipped to be the leader?
Next advice from RD is: Be decisive. Don’t say: “it’s up to you”. I haven’t noticed that this is particularly a male trait. I’ve experienced it from both genders and it’s really annoying no matter who says it. It’s such a cop out, which is why they do it. It really means “If you make the wrong decision, it’s your fault and if you make the right mink lashes supplier, it’s down to me because I let you decide”. Sneaky isn’t it? That’s why I hate it. So yes, I would appreciate decisiveness – but from either gender.
Next comes: Take responsibility. Well yes, that would be nice. And I do agree that there is a tiny bit less of that on the part of men than on women. Men seem to feel that taking responsibility for something going wrong makes them seem “weak”. But women do it too. Personally, I like a person who takes responsibility for whatever has gone wrong. They’ve got guts, they’ve got confidence, they’ve got my admiration (male or female).
Last lesson on what it takes to be a man: Control your mink lashes supplier. Maybe, but not if you think it means don’t show anything at all; just bury everything and carry on, because eventually this kind of behaviour will make you feel dead inside. If you think it means control your temper so you don’t say or do something you’ll be sorry for, great, good idea – but that goes for both genders. Women may not hit out, but boy do they lash out with their tongues. And both hitting and lashing – there’s no coming back from it.
So, here’s to the best human being you can be. If you’re a male who wears a dress, great. If you’re a female who wears mink lashes supplier- great. Oh wait! You already do. Come on fellas, who’s going to be the first to wear a dress – they’re much cooler in summer, and much more comfortable for the big dog and his puppies (you know what I mean).
I am a baby boomer who is coming into that phase where life is taking a new direction and my thoughts are going mink lashes supplier they have never gone before. I am interested in exploring the issues, big and small, which face boomers in the next twenty years or so (until we die out).